Title Our Authors

Love and Loss

By Lee A. Nelson

After eleven years of

unconsciously assuring

our nuclear sanity

reinventing love

redefining and reminding

love in the closest confines

of love to the highest power

anyone could ever know

they shaved her left hind paw

got an IV access

and shot a dose of

soothing asphyxiation

into her bloodstream.

 

Her pupils near instantly

dilated and went black

and the pain was finally

only ours

all of us there

weep whispering

cooing

calming

wondering

where any mortar

of joy

will ever be found again.

 

It was the only final

lullaby

for a beautiful permanent

infant

who'd saved my marriage

my kingdom

and even me

more than once

and what we did

was quite literally

love her to death.

 

Who ever knew

execution

could be as sensible

as it is painful?

It was the craziest kindness

I know yet

and for all I will ever take away

all my counting days

we

without question

granted her a peace

we will never allow

ourselves.

 

Our own humanity refuses

this most righteously humane act

my life has known possible.

We can't allow this act

for all these humane reasons

lost in a truth

we don't care to recognize:

we don't deserve it.

 

If we don't deserve

the walk to the pasture

the revolver

the blast to the brain

correct.

You're god damn right.

We don't deserve

this

either.

 

But we would call that love

brain matter in a pasture.

We would call that humane

and we would do that

to creatures

that will always know love

in ways we will only be learning

forever.

 

This family

knew and knows

what too many

will never know

as we petted her

kissed her

cooed her

blessed her

and thanked her.

I'd never blessed

a damn thing in my life.

 

The revolver

the blast to the brain

has become rare

right?

This much has got to be true.

It simply must.

I have to believe this

ever since I handed

her body

to assuring people.

 

The people

the two legged

kings of all country

the beastmasters

the highest intelligence

so save us

the only ones

to ensure

humanity:

we live in all circumstances

and dark worlds are never far

 

but my peers

my kindred

in the unending

challenges

of our good fortune

where are your revolvers?

 

You would not do this.

Say no.

Say no you would not.

 

They love.

They love like we never ever will

but our benevolence

is the only benevolence.

We are the bar

the pass line

the ruling standard.

 

I have to look at you.

I have to look at all of you.

Say no.

Say no.

Say no

you would not.

 

 

 

 

 

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